"That was a long time ago. I’ve changed. I am not the same person you knew," she said.

"I don’t believe that. People don’t change; they just become more like themselves. I know you. I believe you are still the same person," he said.

"I am not. I have done ... I do things you would not approve of," she said.

"Do you do them because they are right?" he asked.

"No."

"Do you do them because they are good?" he asked.

She lowered her eyes, "No."

"Do you do them because you are hurt, angry, upset and frustrated? Lashing out at an unfair universe?"

Her eyes moved to look into his. Searching him, probing the years, his convictions. They no longer shone with the brilliance of youth. There were wrinkles around them and gray in his eyebrows. He was older. She was too. Everyone was. The idealism and hope and optimism of youth a long and distant memory. As she searched, the years between them seemed, for an instant, to vanish and she was back in a happier and more innocent time and place; a place where hopes and dreams of the future abounded.

He continued, "You did not act. You reacted."

He took her hand and drew it toward him, "If I prick you, if I pinch you, will you not react? Will you not pull your hand away from mine, through no volition of your own?"

She smiled a sad smile, the smile you give a child who innocently persists in hoping against hope. "Life changes us."

"No, we get confused. Deceived. We hurt for so long that we confuse our reactions for actions. Some can confront their pain longer or better than others, but keep the pain up long enough, increase its intensity or severity and we all stop acting and begin reacting."

Another bit of writing I had posted on the other site about a year ago.

(And, no, I do not number my fragments, I just needed to give it a title.)

Comments

acey

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hi, richard! this is interesting. i am learning something here... and i agree that sometimes we feel like we change because of things happening in our lives, when we're really affected and are "reacting" to things... it's a bittersweet life.

Friday 05 December 2008, 08:54

richard

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It is a piece of writing I particularily like - I wish I could write like that more often (like maybe a whole book).

Friday 05 December 2008, 12:34

tin-tin

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why don't you try writing a book? :)

Friday 05 December 2008, 23:03

richard

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I would like to do that, but I don't know what to write about. I am not the sort of person who is good at planning - I just tend to make things up as I go along.

And what would I call such a book? Perhaps "Tin's Pretty Life"?

Saturday 06 December 2008, 11:53

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